We live in language the way fish live in water. It is transparent to us. We are aware that we speak and listen but not aware of how it shapes our world. When an astronomer points out distinctions about stars we are able to see galaxies, planets, constellations where before they were just a bunch of stars. Understanding language provides a new foundation, beginning, options, tools or providing outcomes, purpose, fulfillment and happiness
1. How we word our goals affects the possibility of us reaching them. I want to get over being afraid to call people is not an achievable goal. It is moving away from. Saying I want to feel COMFORTABLE when I call people and talk to them about my business is much more achievable because you are telling yourself (and others) what you want.
2. Use of the word TRY. Try presupposes you are making an attempt but are not actually going to do it. Try presupposes failure. I’ll try to get the report out today. Doesn’t inspire much confidence, does it?
3. “I should be able to get this to you in the next 24 hours”.
This is a fairly standard sentence, the word “should” should catch your attention. The word “ should”, gives you the excuse for not completing the request within 24 hours. It also means it will be less likely to complete the request within 24 hours. No commitment is being made. Saying you should have something finished within 24 hours means it could be done in 48, 72 or 1,000 hours and you still would have kept your word. It is important not to give yourself a free ride by never making firm commitments and/ or never setting deadlines to complete work. Consider: I will get this to you in the next 24 hours says I’m committing to getting this to you.
- Do ever find yourself saying “I wantto get fit”. Or, “I should go to the gym”. Such statements are usually wishful thinking. It is only when you fully commit to something – which starts by saying something like “I will…” or I must…” – that it becomes a priority and receives your focused attention.
- Trust from Others
There is a good chance that to get where you want to go in life you will need the help of other people. The language you use when communicating with other people influences how they perceive you, and therefore how they treat you. The word “ should” is a hedge because maybe you will get the work done, but maybe you won’t…. This does little to give your clients, co-workers, boss or whoever it is you are dealing with confidence in you.
Words do matter. If you can get your actions and language in alignment then you will be all the more closer to success (whatever “success” means to you).
|(I) think||(I) know|